Time to be me

This time last week, I was heading home after the most amazing time in London. I have attempted to write this post over and over this week and kept ditching it as somehow the words just wouldn’t flow. I guess I was feeling guilty about not feeling guilty. Somewhere along the line it has been (wrongly) ingrained into me that maybe I shouldn’t enjoy my (very rare) child free time quite as much as I do. Or at least not say it out loud. But do you know what? I actually love my own company. Probably because it is such a rare occurrence.

I think this weekend will stay with me for a very long time. Cybher itself was such an incredible day and being surrounded by so many amazing and totally inspiring women left me with itching blogging fingers. In a good way. I fell in love with my little corner of the blogosphere all over again. Blogging has brought me many things and this weekend made me realise just what it means to me. It has enabled me to find a confidence that I thought was lost forever and reignited a love for writing.

But most of all, it has led me to make the most incredible friends and for that I will always be so very grateful. After looking forward to it and talking about it for oh so long, finally being able to squish down into a leather sofa together and put the world to rights is just the best. (Laughing over vino and trying to figure out what the hell the people on the next table are talking about is quite fun too) But best of all, having a friend who truly believes in you can make you feel like you can take on the world. One of those friends who has a way of knowing just what to say. And they make you start to believe that maybe just maybe that long standing joke of them being first in line at your book signing isn’t impossible after all.

On Sunday morning, I was awake at silly o’clock. I think my children have broken me forever as I seem to have lost the ability to be able to sleep in these days. Even a pile of unread magazines, the tv remote to myself and room service just a call away wasn’t enough to tempt me to just laze there in bed. (A former me from a former life wouldn’t recognise me these days I swear) So anyway, I made the most of it and took myself off for a wander. It was absolute bliss. Strolling around London, coffee in hand. Time to take it all in without having to stop to do a head count. Alone with my thoughts and time to breath. And London you were truly beautiful that morning. In fact, just the tonic that this blogger needed.

I loved having time to be just me. Time to enjoy the company of wonderful friends. And hopefully time to draw a line under all that has happened this year and try to find the strength to move forward somehow. Something that I didn’t think would ever be possible.